Tag: counseling

Katie Milbrandt - Stories of Resilience. College-age woman stands in a white shorts jumper.

Katie Milbrandt

Posted on September 12, 2024 by - 2024 Story

What is the story related to resilience that you’d like to share?

My mental health journey started when I was very young. I was exposed to the not-so-good side of mental illness before I was even in middle school. My older sister is my best friend and biggest inspiration, but sadly I had to learn what mental illness was from her struggles and experiences.

In high school, I was bullied a lot, which greatly impacted my mental health. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, but nothing seemed to be helping. I decided to transfer schools and have a “fresh start.” I felt like I had more of a purpose and was so much happier after finally deciding to help myself.

During my freshman year of college on a random weekend in April, I woke up to a call from my mom in the early morning hours. That morning, I found out that my cousin died by suicide, ultimately losing her battle with mental illness.

Fast forward to February 14, 2022—the day I tried to end my life. I was at the lowest point possible, depressed, unmotivated, and surrounded by people who were only tearing me down. I was willing to give up on 17+ years of education, end the friendships I created, and leave my job and the family who raised me. I was ready to throw in the towel and give up for good. Thankfully, I got help before it was too late.

Looking back, each encounter I have had with mental health and mental illness has helped me find my purpose in life. I have always been an empathetic person, and I feel emotions very strongly, which is why I never want anyone to feel the way I have. After losing loved ones, and almost losing my own life, I have made it my mission to have a voice for those who no longer do and share my story—how I turned struggle into strength. It has been a long and tough journey to get to where I am today, but I am so grateful to be an advocate for mental health and be the person to prove that things do get better. Ever since I started advocating for mental health, I’ve been asked questions like, “Why should I care about mental health?” “Is mental illness even real?” “Why can’t people just be happy?” My response is simple: everyone has mental health, just like we have physical health, and people who are affected by a mental illness have a much harder time controlling, regulating, and improving their mental health. Mental illness is a silent killer, taking more lives than breast cancer. When shown the reality of the matter, people tend to understand the severity and prevalence of mental health/mental illness, which is exactly what I aim to do with my platform through my involvement with the Miss America/Miss South Dakota organizations.

 

What strengths can you identify within yourself that helped you navigate the situation?

Besides resilience, I’d have to say courage—to keep moving forward even when I felt like giving up, determination—to not let my story end even when I wanted it to, and faith—that there was hope for a better future even when I didn’t think there was.

 

Did you have a person or persons to look to for support during this time? If so, what was it about that person/those people that was helpful or not helpful? If not, what did you do instead?

I saw a therapist and also talked to my mom, even though she lives 4 hours away since I moved from Wisconsin to South Dakota to go to college. They both helped me in their own ways, but the most helpful thing was to have someone who could be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and a voice of reason.

 

What resources did you use during that time? Are there any barriers or limitations regarding access to these resources? What resources do you think still need to be developed for others?

Thankfully, South Dakota State University provides free counseling services to all students, and I was able to meet one-on-one with a counselor as much as I needed. I think that more preventative resources need to be readily available, so that students can get the help they need before they find themselves in a time of crisis. I knew of the counseling center and at the time, thought it was my only option. I didn’t know how to make an appointment and didn’t want to be seen in the building out of fear of shame and embarrassment.

 

What is one thing related to your experience that you wish everyone could understand? What advice might you share with someone who is experiencing something similar?

Asking for help is a sign of strength. I have always been very independent, especially when I came to college. I always felt that needing help on an assignment or asking a friend to help me with something made me seem weak. I didn’t realize it at the time, but having that mentality was pushing people away, causing me to feel alone. I now know that asking for help is not a weakness, and that strength comes in numbers. Leaning on those around you will only help you, not hurt you.

 

 

Jerry Cook

Posted on September 27, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

My dad died by suicide just before my fifth birthday. My sister passed away in 2019, potentially suicide-related. I’ve spent most of my life learning, growing, and recovering from loss and suicide loss. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Family, friends, counseling / therapy, research and learning, volunteering & supporting the community, healthy hobbies, art, and music. 

Through doing lots of work on and for myself, I also co-founded MindBodyHeart Pathways with my wife, Dr. Michelle Cook, and we offer coaching, counseling, and psychiatry services in addition to ketamine-assisted psychotherapy. 

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Some of the major hurdles I see are limited access to mental health care and the quality of that care. Additionally, people who do seek help need to be supported rather than looked down upon…we need to help eliminate the stigma. We also need to move away from the thought that life is/should/will be free of challenges. Working through challenging times builds resiliency. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

It’s okay to be vulnerable and reach out for help and be open to different types of help. 

 

 

Shastin Gerbracht

Posted on September 16, 2022 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?   

On January 6, 2022, I was at work with a client. I had my Apple Watch on so I could feel that my phone was ringing repeatedly. This was unusual, so I checked my watch and saw that it had been my husband. I excused myself to check my phone and received a text from my husband that my 19-year-old son, Collin, texted into his place of work that he was not coming in because he was going to kill himself. My husband was already on his way to my son’s house. I left work immediately and began to drive toward it, thinking that we would get Collin, take him to hospital for some help and maybe have him move back home. As I got closer and closer, the fear of the worst gripped me. When I turned on his road, I saw the ambulance. There are not words to describe this terror. My husband came running out and met me outside. Through my screaming I realized he was gone. He had died by suicide.

I have experienced trauma before, as I served in the military for 20 years. This was like nothing I could have imagined. It was like a sharp cut through the fabric of what my life was. It impacted every realm of my life. I felt heavier, physically and emotionally crushed, changed forever.

As I move forward down this new path, I try to carry both the grief and hope. My hope is that I find new purpose in this life to use my wonderful son’s memory to help others through this, or more importantly, to help in the prevention. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge? 

When I was still at my son’s house on the day of his death, Bridget from the Front Porch was there with support and resources. I attend the Front Porch support group and try to attend other gatherings with people who have experienced the same thing. This has been critical in helping me see beyond my present moment to how it might look for me after a few years. This support is essential to the hope that I carry.

I went to see a mental health counselor as soon as I could get in and continue with this as well. Through therapy we discovered that it was important that I continue to engage and say “yes” to opportunities and activities that might eventually bring joy, connection, or relief. This can be something like agreeing to go hiking with a friend or agreeing to submit my story here. Along with this mental health care, I also see my provider for medication to help me with the symptoms of anxiety and depression.

I reached out to friends, and I continue to call on them when I need to. I have requested from everyone I am close to that we talk about Collin as much as we can.

I focus on self-care a lot. I feel a lot better when I am able to work out, journal, read, and spend time with my dogs daily. My most important self-care goal is getting enough sleep. I can see a big difference in my coping skills when I am tired versus when I am well-rested.

I am working toward getting involved with helping others, as this can be very healing.

 

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges? 

I think the sooner we build support for ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities the better off we are. So that when someone does start to feel down, alone, or unsafe, they have people to reach out to AND feel comfortable doing so. The more wellness that exists upstream of a crisis, the better. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand? 

It is possible to carry pain, grief, etc., while also carrying hope and joy. We can live fulfilling, meaningful lives without feeling like we need to “fix” these difficult parts of us. And there is support out there. Reach out! 

Heather Kittelson

Posted on September 4, 2022 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I was born into generational alcoholism — I lived in denial until it almost killed me. After my fourth child, I developed a terrible case of postpartum depression, and I turned to alcohol. Depression and alcoholism had won. The shame and guilt and hopelessness were paralyzing, and I lived in fear every day. On Dec. 5th, 2019, I had decided to take my life because I was scared for my future and my family’s future with me in it. That morning, my husband was obedient to divine intervention and my life was saved. I went to 30-day in-patient treatment. Sobriety is where I live and what I love. I now live my life 100% for Christ and helping others find authentic pure joy and hope!

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

100% telling my story as often as I can has been a BIG piece of my healing!

Podcasts – Hope still Stands with Ben Higgens, Montgomery Companies with Jordan Montgomery, Suffering Strong with Jay and Katherine Wolf, In the Light with Dr. Anita Phillips, Unashamed with Phil & Jase Robertson, The Quote of the Day Show with Sean Croxton, Made for This with Jennie Allen, The Christine Caine Equip & Empower, Christine Cain, etc.!

Authors/Books: The Bible, ALL John Maxwell books, Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover, Jon Gordon Books, Dr. Kevin Leman books (parenting), Boundaries – Henry Cloud and John Townsend, etc.!

Counseling: Soul Strong Ministries – Meredith Vander Zee, New Haven Ministries, New Creation Ministries – Andy and Kate Anderson

 

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges?

Share, Share, Share!!! We need to start talking and listening! Healing comes from being vulnerable and being open. We need to be there for one another and build our communities around loving and truly caring about each other’s wellbeing. We need to serve others and take care of ourselves — mind, body and soul!

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and YOU MATTER! We are all children of God, and we all have a very specific purpose here on this earth!

Alison Rollag

Alison Rollag

Posted on September 17, 2021 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share? 

My freshman year of high school was difficult. I had extremely low self-esteem and felt like an outsider, struggling to find a place where I fit. I felt isolated and alone. My depression grew, and my hope of finding friends and a place where I belonged diminished. My mind raced, and I became very negative and thought, “Maybe I’m not made for this life.” My vision was clouded. The mental filter I was seeing through blocked out all the good I had in my life and turned me in to a miserable cynic.  

All of my struggles came to a head when my mom attempted suicide, and my brother and I got in to an intense argument that led to a panic attack. I remember feeling so alone and heartbroken. I moved between a couple households in an attempt to escape my situation and the resentment I felt toward my mother and brother. Suicide crossed my mind at various points. It wasn’t until an argument with the family I was staying with and high emotional intensity that I decided I wanted to be done and give up fully.  

Thankfully, I was able to get the help and support I needed to see that life is worth living. I began to attend counseling sessions and take medication, and my world opened up. It was as if the heavy, black cloud lifted, and I was seeing in vivid colors again.  

In working with patients in crisis, I am familiar with the fluid nature of suicidal thoughts. I acknowledge the reality that they may continue to come and go even after crisis subsides. It’s important not to give extra power to these thoughts and to challenge them as needed. Remember, you are not defined by your thoughts!  

It has not been an easy road, but I can proudly say that I have a successful career in mental health, rewarding relationships, and an optimistic outlook. I use affirmations and other coping skills to remember my life matters and life is beautiful. My family, friends, faith, nature, and the patients I serve are all reasons for living. I am grateful I continued living and feel equipped to meet the stressors of life, being confident in myself and those that support me. Life is worth living—you just have to give yourself the opportunity and time to see why. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge? 

I am blessed to have a wonderful family that supports me and friends that are genuine, thoughtful, and encouraging. Most people don’t realize how many people care about them. It’s important to reach out and know that there’s always someone available to talk whether it be loved ones or the 24/7 national suicide prevention lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. 

  

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges? 

Resilience starts with communication. This could be with others or yourself. Positive self-talk and affirmations have been transformative in my life. You are the only one who truly knows what you need to hear. Seeking outward approval or validation often leads to disappointment. Know that you are worthy! I believe that happiness and peace come from within. I teach and utilize concepts such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). I use CBT to overcome negative and/or distorted thoughts. I use DBT to accept reality for what it is, mindfulness to be present, and journaling to express thoughts and feelings. You are not defined by thoughts and emotions; however, our actions do matter. These skills combined with yoga, singing, and creativity have helped me to lead a more peaceful life. I encourage everyone to be open to finding what outlets work best for them. Above all, remember that building a life worth living takes time and practice. The outcome will be worth the journey. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

My favorite quote is “Comparison is the thief of joy” by Theodore Roosevelt. This life is your own, and therefore, comparing yourself to others isn’t helpful. Instead, lean toward compassion, knowing we are all doing the best that we can.  

Lucy Benitez-Archer

Lucy Benitez-Archer

Posted on September 5, 2021 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share? 

In the Winter of 2015, I lost my mother to a battle with melanoma cancer. My mother, Jennifer Hahn, had been diagnosed in 2011 and had overcome her illness, only to later lose her battle against cancer in February of 2015.  

 I was a junior at the University of South Dakota. I was highly involved on campus, in classes, and in the community; however, I began to step back as my mother became more ill. I started seeing my friends less and my family more. My efforts in my academics began to slip, and I fell behind. I spent the majority of my time at home in Sioux Falls and very little time in Vermillion, where I left a large support system behind.  

The grief began prior to my mother’s passing as the doctor informed us there was no positive end in sight. Once hospitalized after a seizure, my mother never came home. We as a family made the decision on a hospice house where she spent the remainder of her days. On February 16th, 2015, my mother Jennifer Hahn passed away as I sat at her bedside. From this day on, the majority of the year is lost. I felt hopeless, lost, and deep pain; all the while never showing this to family or friends. I felt as though my mother wanted me to be strong, and thus I never showed grief, only the ability to move forward. I often masked my pain through academic work and social life, appearing as though I was not hurt or affected by this huge loss. 

  

What resources have helped you to address this challenge? 

In the Fall of 2015, I began my senior year at USD. It was a fresh start and I felt as though I could be myself again and not the girl who lost her parent. To help myself, I spoke with the counselors at the USD Psychology program. During these sessions, I began to realize I was able to feel the sadness and grief without feeling as though I was disappointing my mother. Speaking about my grief and pain helped me to understand my emotions and my outlook on life.  

During this time, I also began to work on my own therapies through my artwork. I developed my Senior Show concepts surrounding my pain and progression through the loss of my mother. The ability to physically create and show my emotions helped in my healing. This healing was not overnight and is never fully done, as it still pains to think of this loss; however, the resources I found at USD and since in my adult life have aided in my growth since this loss.  

  

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges? 

Resilience is found in each individual in ways they may never know. Providing resources in a variety of manners can help reach any audience. I found my peace through art therapy and counseling at a time when I was in college. College is a difficult time for students in many different capacities, and for these students to know there are resources can be life-changing. I found counseling and Lost&Found through student outreach. The work Lost&Found is doing for college students in particular does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. This organization helped me and many others during hardships and will continue to in the future.  

  

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand? 

You are not alone. Reach out and there will be a hand to help.  

Carolyn Kennedy

Carolyn Kennedy

Posted on September 3, 2021 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share? 

I didn’t realize it growing up, but I have always been high strung. I put a lot of pressure on myself in high school to be perfect. When I got to college, the perfection was a lot harder to achieve. Naturally, I was not always perfect and when I would fail, however minor of a failure, I would break down.  

The first year I applied to medical school I did not get in—the biggest failure of my life—and I started having panic attacks. I went to the on-campus clinic and she explained to me that I have generalized anxiety disorder, with some panic disorder symptoms. At first, the diagnosis made me feel like I was crazy, but now, a couple years later, I realized that it’s helped me navigate my intrusive thoughts.  

Since finally entering medical school, I have made strides in overcoming the perfectionist attitude, but then my anxiety started manifesting in other areas. I live a long way from home and my family. This made me feel alone and without a support system during a really difficult time in my education. Because of this, my anxiety manifested through to more of my social life. I started losing sleep because I was staying up worrying if I was coming across as smart enough to my peers. This had made me start up counseling again. This time, counseling has given me a person that I trust to support me, which was something that I felt like I was lacking. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge? 

Counseling has helped tremendously. 

For a long time, I didn’t realize that I needed to have a mental health journey. There will be many opportunities to fail in medical school, and I am so fortunate now that I have the ability to process those failures a lot better. So far, medical school and counseling has taught me that I need to take care of myself in order to better care for people in the long run. Counseling has been such a positive part of my life that I now volunteer at Coyote Clinic, which offers free, student-run psychiatric services to the community of Sioux Falls. 

   

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges? 

We have to be open to receiving help, and we have to make our mental health a priority in our busy lives. 

  

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand? 

You often can never tell when people are struggling with their mental health, so remember to check in with the people in your life.