Tag: friends

Jacson Welte

Posted on September 30, 2024 by - 2024 Story

What is the story related to resilience that you’d like to share?

Entering 2023, I was in what I thought was a healthy relationship with my then-girlfriend. She had become distant, and communication was lacking. I was scared I had done something wrong to deserve this treatment. The lack of communication then became a version of blaming me for everything wrong in her life. She eventually ended the relationship. After experiencing this situation, naturally I questioned who I was and the type of person I am. It truly was the dark times. I was desperate for any escape from the gut-wrenching feeling every waking second.

I decided it would be best if I let go of my ego, pushed myself to try something new, and redefined myself. So I went to work at a summer camp in Minnesota on a lake. I was scared at first, and progress felt impossible. But week by week, I started meeting the new me that was developing before my eyes by being thrust into leadership positions. Aha, I have found myself and my calling once again. The pain and desperation I had felt seemingly melted away from my heart and soul. I had survived my darkest days experienced thus far in my life.

 

What strengths can you identify within yourself that helped you navigate the situation? 

I recognized my willingness to learn and to be a leader. I also recognized my ability to kill my ego in order to find inner peace. It is a difficult and humbling process but extremely worth it. I also kept my trust in the world and in myself.

 

Did you have a person or persons to look to for support during this time? If so, what was it about that person/those people that was helpful or not helpful? If not, what did you do instead?

I had a few friends and my therapist as my biggest support system. They offered different perspectives on the situations, and they acted as my north stars. I fell from my path quite often, but they were all patient enough to help me through it.

 

What resources did you use during that time? Are there any barriers or limitations regarding access to these resources? What resources do you think still need to be developed for others?

I utilized therapy at this time. There were no barriers with the interaction except the process of actually getting into therapy on campus being difficult and unpredictable. I think what could have aided me even more so would have been someone dedicated to relationship advice and mitigation.

 

What is one thing related to your experience that you wish everyone could understand? What advice might you share with someone who is experiencing something similar?

One thing I want people to understand is that no matter what, you must live with yourself at the end of the day. The hurt your loved ones can inflict upon you can feel endless, but the hurt you perpetrate upon yourself by not letting go is even worse. Take your time to feel your feelings. It isn’t supposed to feel good or safe, but when you survive the feeling, you can recognize you can do anything and that eventually, this too shall pass.

 

Michaela Seiber

Michaela Seiber 

Posted on September 28, 2021 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?   

In July 2018, my friend Taylor died by suicide. She had just moved from Sioux Falls to Omaha, and she was struggling. Taylor moved to Omaha for a fresh start; she had lived in Sioux Falls much of her life and was trying to find some answers to some big questions. One day I got a call from a friend, letting me know Taylor was in the hospital in Omaha after a suicide attempt. I knew she was dealing with a lot after her move, but the last time I saw her (Pride in the Park, June 2018), she was optimistic about things turning around. That was the last time I saw her in person, the last time I hugged her. We quickly formed a Facebook group of friends to do what we did best: organize and pool resources. Friends took turns staying with Taylor while she recovered after being home from the hospital. She started some new meds but continued to face financial burdens and identity crises. We sent cards, texts, and snaps, thinking we could keep her afloat from a distance. One night, we realized nobody had heard from her. One friend was coming back from Omaha and another was heading down in a couple of days; we thought we had surrounded her in enough love and comfort to get her through those couple of days alone. In the middle of the night, the police were called to check on her because she wasn’t answering calls or texts. Taylor had left us. That same year, I had my first panic attack and started the same anxiety medication she used to end her life. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?  

Access to affordable medication and healthcare. 

 

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges? 

I still don’t know that answer. Talking openly about mental health and how we cope can destigmatize therapy and anxiety/depression medications, encouraging others to seek this help. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand? 

Don’t measure your mental health journey against anyone else’s yard stick. 

 

Lynne Jones

Lynne Jones

Posted on September 22, 2021 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?   

For most of my life, I never felt good enough. That feeling wasn’t caused by anything or anyone in particular. It just was always there. And the older I got, the worse it became.

When I was 27, I got married. Looking back on it now, one of the reasons I got married was a fear of NEVER getting married because I was already so old. By year 7, I was very unhappy, but figured it was my fault. If I were a better wife, better working mother, better cook … better everything, I would be happy. But I soon began picking up extra jobs, working more hours, because “we needed the money,” but in reality, it was an escape from having to be at home— where I always felt like a failure and where I was miserable. No one ever knew how I felt, though. I never said a word about it, not even to my husband or my family. I always had a smile on my face. Everything was always great. I couldn’t admit I felt like a failure in my own life.

But the stress of trying to keep it all together began to take its toll, and I stopped eating and began cutting. I could pass the weight loss off as a high metabolism and being busy. And I wore long sleeves. I got down to a dangerously low weight, I was having trouble breathing and my heartbeat became erratic. I finally went to the doctor, who wanted to schedule me for a pysch eval. I promised I would eat (which I did) and promised I would keep the appointment (which I didn’t).  

During this time, I slowly began to build a small network of people from my church I could trust. I didn’t share much, but I began to give them glimpses of how I felt. And they began to tell me that I was enough. That I was strong and beautiful and worthy exactly the way I was. I didn’t have to pretend to be something or someone I was not. And they were there for me at my lowest moments; when I finally had had enough and almost drove my car into a bridge abutment, one of them answered my call. And a few years ago, when I finally had had enough and abruptly ended my 23-year marriage and started over with no money and no place to live, one of them answered my call. And because of them, I’m still here. I don’t need a lot of friends in this world. I just need the few that will be there through it all. But in order to find them, I had to let them in. And that was really hard. Being authentic and vulnerable is so scary. But for me, that’s when healing truly began. 

  

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?  

For me, it was just my small circle of friends. But I fully support using the mental health community as resources. Therapy and medication are important tools in helping people work through challenging times. 

 

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges? 

I think the more people share their stories, the more it helps others who might be suffering silently like I was. We live in a world that emphasizes and rewards the perfect lives we see on social media. And that is so harmful. We hide behind filters and work to stage the perfect life. Authenticity and honesty lead to understanding and acceptance. Acceptance helps build resilience and community, and that can change the world. 

  

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand? 

People who say they are fine, often are not. And they likely won’t reach out when they are struggling. If you sense that something is off, rather than saying, “let me know if you need anything” (because they won’t), try a simple “I don’t know what you’re going through, but I want you to know that you matter to me. And if you want someone to talk to, take a walk with, or just sit with you in silence. I’m here.” It could make all the difference.