Month: September 2023

Vince Danh 

Posted on September 30, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

Growing up in a first-generation household, we never shared our feelings or expressed a lot of affection in the traditional Western sense of the term. My parents worked hard to escape war and poverty and to find success in a new country, and they never complained. That set an example of success and stoicism for me that defined a lot of my upbringing.

I spent the majority of my life believing that I shouldn’t express myself, let alone show anything that might be interpreted as weakness. Fitting in meant success, and that meant being perceived as someone who had or at least had the appearance of everything being OK.

My friends knew me as the guy who they could always talk to because I was always level-headed and, in their words, “well-adjusted.” I was the confidante, the one who kept his cool and could help address their own issues and challenges.

However, like an iceberg or a duck floating on the surface, what was unseen was my own inner-self’s struggles. Eventually, things reached a tipping point, and I slipped into a dark place.

I realized that I needed to treat myself just like I treated my friends. The advice that I gave them I also needed to give to myself. “It’s cool to not be cool.” That was the greatest lesson I’ve ever learned—to acknowledge my own challenges and shed the veneer of being OK all the time.  

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

It took a lot of soul-searching, working with a therapist, and acceptance to recognize and overcome my challenges. One impactful read that I recommend to everyone, no matter what their current journey in life, is The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Reverend Desmond Tutu. Working through that book helped me recapture a very important fact that’s been lost in the hustle and bustle of our modern world. Human beings are intrinsically wired to feel and express compassion and joy. Too often we forget that we are joyful creatures by design, and we let doom and gloom cloud that. 

Other things that helped me have been adopting routines and personal activities that are solely for me. I try to adopt or try out a new hobby every couple of months as a fun way to continue growing, but I always acknowledge that there shouldn’t be any pressure or stakes to it other than for my own personal benefit and growth. Sometimes these exploratory hobbies stick and become a lifestyle such as cooking or motorcycling, others like piano might not, but I can look back and still feel good that I gave it a shot. 

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Just as we have an emphasis on physical education in school and professional lives, I believe the same importance needs to be placed on mental education. In 2023, there is no reason why our schools don’t have mental education classes that can help our youth learn how to properly recognize, process, and work through mental and emotional challenges. 

Following up with that, the professional and corporate spaces are making amends to recognize the validity and benefits of promoting positive mental health in the workspace. However, there is still a stigma around mental health that can only be diminished by increasing the availability and access to education. It starts with our generation so that the next can be better off for it.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

I truly believe that we should treat ourselves like we treat our friends. We give our friends a lot of grace and understanding, and too often short ourselves of that same treatment. Next time we might feel like being hard or critical of ourselves, stop for a moment and just ask if what you want to say to yourself is what you would say to a close friend. 

 

 

Benson Langat 

Posted on September 29, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

Upon my arrival in America, I was greeted by the frigid embrace of winter, presenting a significant challenge for me as a track athlete. The absence of transportation and friends compounded my difficulties, requiring a rapid outdoor running adjustment. During weekends, when not engaged in competition, I often found myself alone in my apartment, a mile from the nearest grocery store and other essential amenities. I was compelled to traverse the streets day and night on foot. In the absence of classes, isolation became my constant companion, and I began to experience the weight of depression as I grappled with the resettlement process in a foreign land. 

Life became an arduous journey, and in my struggle to cope with the stress and solitude, I turned to overeating, which detrimentally affected my performance as a college athlete. My depression was further exacerbated by a multitude of stressors, including adapting to a new language, the demands of academics, economic challenges, unfamiliar food, and divergent religious practices. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

I joined a support group for international students and athletes, providing a sense of community and a space to share your experiences and feelings with others who may be going through similar challenges. I was also paired with a host family, which made everything better. I also kept an open line of communication with my track coach and professors, explaining my challenges and seeking their support or accommodations if needed. I was reminded that addressing these challenges may be an ongoing process, and reaching out for help and support is essential when needed.  

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

One of the most damaging aspects of the current system is the stigma associated with mental health issues. People often hesitate to seek help due to fear of judgment. Promoting awareness and acceptance of mental health conditions can help reduce this stigma. Public education campaigns and open conversations about mental health can contribute to this effort. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Many people who struggle with mental health or have suicidal thoughts often suffer in silence due to stigma, fear, or shame. It’s crucial for everyone to recognize that talking openly about mental health challenges is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and courage. Encouraging individuals to share their feelings and experiences without judgment can create a supportive environment where they feel heard and understood. 

 

 

Nichelle Lund 

Posted on September 28, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I’ve always struggled with some form of mental health issues, specifically anxiety and obsessive worrying, which would happen very cyclically throughout my childhood and young adult life. Since moving to South Dakota, living so far away from my family and childhood friends, I’ve noticed that I struggle significantly more, less with worrying and more with depressive episodes. Winter has regularly been my downfall, coupled with a physical assault at the beginning of the pandemic (3/20), limited mental health resources, and the idea that “I just need to pick myself up and dust myself off, I can handle this.” 

My “oh shit” moment came on a dreary February morning in 2023. I hit (another) pothole, and I got so angry. I was mad that the pothole wasn’t big enough to swallow my car whole, with me in it, because then at least it wouldn’t be my fault. Shortly thereafter I lost a good friend unexpectedly, and the intrusive thoughts got worse, but always with the tinge of – “as long as it’s not my fault.” I don’t want people to think I did it to myself. I was okay with dying, but I didn’t want to do it. Somewhere along the way, I knew I was in big trouble. March has never been my friend – but this year was particularly bad. I cried every day on the way to and from work with just a heaviness in my chest that I could not escape. 

I smiled, did my job, volunteered, and made sure things in my life got handled, but I was just doing what needed to be done to not show anyone the cracks. I was playing a part in my own life and not owning any of it. I didn’t really care about anything. 

I’ve never asked for anything from family or friends – I offered help and support and was right there when people needed me, or even when I thought they might need me. So when I hit the proverbial “rock bottom” and no one was around to help, I knew I was in trouble. When you’re always the helper, it makes it so much harder to ask for help. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

I started out using the BetterHelp therapy app around mid-March. I switched providers a few times trying to find the right fit. I finally found one that was good, but not great. Our sessions were only 30 minutes, and by the time I got into the meat of the issues, the session was over and no solutions were available. She recommended me to a foundation that specialized in helping women who were the victims of violent crimes. They referred me to a local therapist with Moore Counseling Group where I could receive EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization And Reprocessing) therapy. This helps me to both process the most recent trauma and desensitize triggers that had been established during childhood and my youth. 

Because of this therapy, I’ve learned that my voice had been stifled, I didn’t have any boundaries, and I didn’t trust anyone to be there for me when and if I asked them to be. I’m learning and healing a little bit more every week.

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities? 

We have started making mental health a mainstream conversation, and that is SO important. For people to see themselves, their thoughts, feelings, and experiences portrayed in others, so they know they aren’t alone, is a massive improvement from where we were 5, 10, 20+ years ago. 

I think the biggest struggle is buy-in from generations that believe you just need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. The folks that think therapists and counselors are only there to pacify you and collect your insurance money. 

Normalizing mental health is important, but normalizing going to therapy is going to be just as important in the future, which also means beefing up the programs in schools that promote education in that field and the importance of healing from the inside first. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

If someone has a single vulnerable moment in front of you and then brushes it off, don’t ignore it. Just because they say “I’ll be fine” doesn’t mean they will. They probably don’t know how to ask for help. That’s not something everyone learns growing up. 

 

Jerry Cook

Posted on September 27, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

My dad died by suicide just before my fifth birthday. My sister passed away in 2019, potentially suicide-related. I’ve spent most of my life learning, growing, and recovering from loss and suicide loss. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Family, friends, counseling / therapy, research and learning, volunteering & supporting the community, healthy hobbies, art, and music. 

Through doing lots of work on and for myself, I also co-founded MindBodyHeart Pathways with my wife, Dr. Michelle Cook, and we offer coaching, counseling, and psychiatry services in addition to ketamine-assisted psychotherapy. 

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Some of the major hurdles I see are limited access to mental health care and the quality of that care. Additionally, people who do seek help need to be supported rather than looked down upon…we need to help eliminate the stigma. We also need to move away from the thought that life is/should/will be free of challenges. Working through challenging times builds resiliency. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

It’s okay to be vulnerable and reach out for help and be open to different types of help. 

 

 

Erika Tordsen 

Posted on September 26, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

In 2019, my husband Tyler and I were expecting our first baby, due in March 2020. A baby boy. We were over the moon scared, nervous, and everything in between to become parents but excited, nonetheless. Then the pandemic restrictions happened the week I gave birth, so Tyler was the only one allowed in the room for our son’s birth. All of my feelings of excitement and happiness were quickly replaced with uncertainty and sadness. The months that followed our son’s birth were the darkest months of my life. I was a new mom who wasn’t able to have the help of family or friends because we just didn’t know what was going to happen next. Is this new virus going to kill my baby? Is my husband, who has a pre-existing condition, going to die if he gets it? We had so much worry and fear during that time that we never truly got to enjoy being first-time parents and all the joys that come with it.
 

I lost myself in postpartum anxiety and cried every single day for months. Phone calls, FaceTiming, and texting just weren’t enough. I was happiest when I was asleep because I didn’t have to feel all of the worry and fear. I constantly looked on social media and compared myself to other mothers. I felt “less than” because I was struggling, forgotten because no one could come to see us, and cheated because of the pandemic. Fortunately, I have a great husband who was patient with me and understood that I was hurting and struggling. He took care of me and allowed me to feel things without question. During that time, I found a new purpose of being a mother and I wanted to be better for my son. Eventually, I was able to get past the worry and fear, and as we started to learn more about COVID, I could enjoy being just a mama finally. We won’t remember 2020 as the year of COVID-19 but as the year of our son, Emmett. And although it took a while, I was able to feel like myself again, and a year and a half later, our second son was born. He gave me the experience I was supposed to have but both experiences shaped me into the mother I am today and I’m forever grateful for my two boys and my supportive husband. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

During the first few weeks after giving birth, my lactation consultant helped with the breastfeeding piece and reassured me that I was doing it correctly because that was a challenge in itself. Since everything was virtual, I reached out to family and friends via phone for support and made a post on my social media, which led to other mothers reaching out. They gave advice and shared their struggles too. After that, I created a Facebook group for moms to be able to ask questions and seek advice from other mothers without judgment or question. I started seeing a therapist who turned out not to be the right fit, so I asked questions and made a switch to my current therapist who is amazing! She is perfect for my needs on the mental health piece of it and also culturally. 

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities? 

I would love to see more awareness about the differences between postpartum depression, anxiety, baby blues, etc. We get pamphlets and words that explain what these are but actually hearing from a mother who experienced this before a mom gives birth would be 10 times more helpful. We are raising the next generation, and it is the hardest job. I wish I had someone to tell me the straight-up truth about how differently I would feel after giving birth. The fourth trimester is the hardest one of them all. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

It’s okay to rest and take care of yourself. We live in a society where hustle culture is glorified and if you’re not grinding, you’re failing. It’s not a bad thing to be ambitious and a go-getter, but it’s also okay to take a break, breathe, and reset. 

 

Tamien Dysart 

Posted on September 25, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

When I was 19 years old, I found myself in a deep, deep depression. Almost everything seemed pointless. I was engaging in activities that ultimately were merely masking the empty feeling I had after a few big life events. Thankfully, I had a daughter at 17 years old, which kept my mind from ever wandering into suicide. However, I remember listening to the ONE song for a two-month stretch as it reflected my mood of “what’s the point of all of this.”

It was at that moment I was invited to go to church with a friend. I thought, why not—as I had nothing to lose. It was that pivotal moment that gave me hope. I found myself being around positivity weekly on Sunday mornings. That helped to elevate my path of discovery: I had worth and began developing purpose, slowly, steadily, surely. That trajectory brought me to a place where I now am impacting thousands of people, living as a testimony of possibilities when you are shown a path to better and make the decision to walk in it, even when we don’t “feel like it.” 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Doubling down on personal development. Though it was a longer climb, it built a confidence that putting the work in directly, works. This is a basis for our saying at Think 3D that “A Better YOU Is Better for Everyone,” including yourself. My long haul of reading books, learning, and developing helped to build my mindset to be able to go back and tackle some of the harder issues that put me in a space of dealing with depression and hopelessness. 

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

We believe that workplace culture plays a major and significant role in where we’re currently at around this topic, and also is a key area of focus to help provide a better path forward. Given that the average working professional spends between 50-75% of their waking hours around work, when this is less than desirable, it dramatically impacts our ability to work on the other parts of our lives to improve upon mental health. This is besides the direct impact that work often significantly contributes to the mental health challenge. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Everyone’s story is unique and different. Get to understand the backstory before making assessments of others. Be willing to come alongside these individuals once you understand their stories and pour positivity into them. 

 

 

Trivia Afraid of Lightning-Craddock 

Posted on September 25, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

My first experience of death by suicide was when I was a child and witnessed my 14-year-old cousin, who died by suicide. I was with my grandmother and she was called to the home of her sister where he was found. I did not understand exactly what had happened, as I was only a child of about 5 or 6 years of age.

Twenty years later, I myself battled the same generational traumas that my young cousin fought. I struggled with crippling issues of self-esteem, racial identity, and depression, which led to substance abuse and suicidal ideations. In 2003, I planned to end my life. Thankfully, I was unsuccessful! My family did know if I was alive, or dead, or kidnapped. Unbeknownst to myself at the time, I was found in my car and taken to the nearest hospital where I was given time to heal, mentally and spiritually. It was not overnight, but with the resources I was given, the support of a local pastor, and the foundation of my Lakota culture as a form of healing, I was able to adapt my lived experiences, advocate in my community, and give back using culture as a form of healing. I’ve learned that my Lakota culture is my healing. My resilience in return is advocating for all my relatives to be able to utilize cultural services and behavioral health services for overall health and wellness.

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

While each person’s mental health needs are different, we as humans have a natural need for companionship and love. I needed someone to listen, to be there for me, and to affirm who I was as a young biracial woman who struggled with racial identity. I was given mental health support from a licensed clinical psychologist, cultural spiritual support from a Lakota elder, and spiritual support from a local pastor. My three resources were able to support my mental health needs, because they were able to address separate areas that were the cause of my self-esteem issues, racial identity issues, depression, and substance abuse. Each area of an individual’s mental health needs must be addressed mindfully, respectfully, and with perseverance.

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

My lived experience has given me the power to own my resiliency. It has humbled me in a way that I am able to empathize and use mindfulness with my relatives and community as a whole. We have to learn that the American Indian community’s way of healing is through cultural practices such as the Lakota language, Lakota songs, and Lakota prayers and that our people understand what generational traumas are and how to utilize behavioral health resources. Behavioral health services and Lakota cultural practices coupled may help individuals face life’s challenges. Working together in our community and not silos to address mental health challenges is the key to doing more for our families.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

A “wish” for understanding would be: Understanding the culture of a community and addressing the gaps in a community in regard to mental health and substance abuse, which often go hand in hand. Also, for people to understand that it is okay to ask for help, it is okay to admit that you need support. Often we are expected to be strong or resilient, and sometimes people do not understand that there are moments when someone is unable to be resilient.

 

 

 

Sky Grenstiner

Posted on September 23, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I lost my biological father to suicide.

Growing up, I did not see my biological father all the time, especially because my maternal grandparents had adopted me when I was younger. However, I was still building a relationship with him throughout the years. I usually saw him on holidays when I was home, because otherwise, he was out working these big construction jobs and a lot of times was out of state. He was still there for me.

The day that I found out, I had just finished working on my homework and was taking a nap. I woke up to my sister calling me, and my heart dropped instantly because she usually asks if she can call before she does. I immediately picked up the phone and asked her what was wrong because she was crying. She told me that she didn’t know if anyone had told me but that Dad was found dead. Instantly I broke down crying and texted one of my friends begging him to call my cousin who lives in my dorm building and send her my way. I couldn’t move, all I could do was bawl and try not to scream. Seven days earlier, I had gotten numerous texts from Dad saying how proud of me he was, that he loved me, and that he was sorry for everything that he did wrong in life. I remember getting teary over those messages because my own mental health was already rough, and it just so happened to make me cry because I needed to hear it. However, I did not realize that this was a warning sign that something was going to happen. I did take screenshots and sent them to my same sister asking her if he was sending her similar things, so I guess in a way deep down I knew that there was something wrong, I just did not know what to do with it. In the following days, I made it home and prepared to say my goodbyes. Saying goodbye to a parent is not easy, especially when you lose them in a traumatic way.

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Resources that helped me address this challenge were my therapist, my psychiatrist, and Lost&Found. I was already seeing my therapist every two weeks, and for the following therapy sessions, I was going once every week. My anxiety and depression had spiked dramatically. My psychiatrist upped my meds and put me on an anxiety med full time instead of as needed because of daily panic attacks.  Lost&Found was a great resource for me because I was already in the Lost&Found Advocates Program, I was about two sessions into training, so I was able to check in with my cohort leaders at each meeting about how I was feeling.

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Mental health needs to be talked about more but not in such a negative, stigmatized way. Yes, mental health is on the rise, but stigmatizing it is not going to make it any better. I firmly believe that if mental health was talked about more, especially in men, and people were more supportive and listened, male statistics related to suicide especially could be different. In my father’s household and the way he was raised, mental health was not talked about. Mental health did not become something to talk about until my siblings and I, even aunts and uncles, started opening up about it. No one should ever be brought down because they are struggling, or made feel like they cannot talk about what is bothering them. I feel like if mental health help is advocated for more, our communities may start building resilience and address mental health more. Some locations in South Dakota have multiple support programs, but Sturgis does not.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Grieving from a suicide loss is one of the hardest things to go through because it is something you can never prepare for, unlike death by natural causes. Reaching out to someone when you are struggling with your mental health is a sign of strength, not weakness. Having mental health struggles does not make you weak. Also, a warning sign can be something so little and something that could be easily overlooked – if it makes you worried in any sense, please offer support. You could be the person that the person trusts to reach out to for help.

 

 

Eltina Three Stars

Posted on September 22, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

The beginning of the pandemic was one of the hardest things I had to go through. I know that many of my struggles were shared among the rest of society and on a collective conscious level. I work in public health, and once the pandemic started in March 2019, we were required to work remotely from home. I had 5 children at the time attending school virtually from home as well. It was very stressful trying to balance all of that.

My position was Community Engagement, but during the lockdown, I wasn’t allowed to go out into the community. At work, I volunteered to help with the efforts wherever I could. I found myself being the triage for those who think that they had been exposed or had symptoms of COVID-19. I would answer the forwarded COVID call line on my personal cell phone, which was directed from the Oyate Health Center. I would often have to hush my children or step out of the house to take the calls, but I felt needed.

Over the next six months, it began to take a toll on me. I was in a toxic relationship, and I was forced to live with him during the lockdown. I had intended to break up with him, but the pandemic did not allow for this. He worked as a bartender and didn’t believe in the pandemic, masking up, social distancing. He said it was all hype. This created an extreme amount of anxiety as a mother, as I had fears that the disease would take one of my children from me.

I suffered through depression, anxiety, and thoughts of self-harm but hid it from my children and my partner. I began lashing out in bouts of anger or tears. I had even planned out my death to every little detail. I ended the relationship, and he left my home. But I still feared myself, and that was when I knew I needed to seek help.

I found help through a variety of local resources, people I trusted, and my work circle. Most of all, I learned that I am an empath and am very sensitive to other people’s pain/emotions. I learned the importance of practicing self-care. I now work in behavioral health, guiding others to the help that they need. I wholeheartedly believe that my suffering had a purpose to help others!

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Indian Health Services – counseling services; Oyate Behavioral Health – counseling services and cultural interventions; Oaye Luta Okolakiciye – Cultural Services, mentoring; SPEAK Network – suicide prevention classes

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

You build resilience when you go through hard times and challenges. This is a part of life that is inevitable. What we should be teaching our youth and young adults are the proper coping skills/mechanisms when faced with life’s struggles. We need to teach them the importance of self-love and self-care. Once these are taught and become part of a person’s foundation of learning, this will instill confidence and they will be better able to handle hardships.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Having suicidal thoughts is a symptom of depression, and depression is treatable. I believe that this would encourage those who suffer from depression and thoughts of suicide to reach out for help.

 

 

 

Kelli Swenson

Posted on September 21, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

On May 30, 2022, I lost my sweet, sweet dad to suicide.  

Before suicide personally affected my family, I was like many. I thought that suicide only affected people who have always struggled with mental health, had recently experienced severe trauma, or had difficult home lives. I was so wrong.  

Suicide does NOT discriminate and can affect anyone. My dad did not check any previous beliefs about who suicide affects. He was happily married and had five kids who loved him dearly. He ran a successful company for many years, Swenson Bros Marine, and had just entered into a place of semi-retirement. He was always our biggest cheerleader and had the biggest smile on his face. In a small community, he was the one who was always called on for help, and he never let anyone down. He was always the “man for the job” and took care of anyone and everyone he could.   

In the months before his death, my dad had been making many plans for his newfound “freedom” and was looking forward to trips with friends and family, watching his kids grow, spoiling grandkids, and enjoying many days boating and relaxing on the Missouri River with his family and friends … one of his favorite things to do in the entire world.  

With one phone call, my world changed forever. My dad was always the one I could go to for help, for advice, to celebrate, to cry… he was truly “the man for the job” – and he was no longer here. Between telling my 10-year-old youngest brother how his dad died, to hearing story after story of how my dad helped someone else in the same spot, he found himself in before taking his own life, to learning how my dad cared for and supported others (many who were strangers) nearly daily without any recognition… The days and weeks following my dad’s death were the hardest times of my life. The world is dimmer without his love and light.  

A year later, I still grieve my dad every single day. Suicide robbed my dad, and everyone he loved, of so much. My family’s hearts will ache over the loss of my dad forever, but we also know there is so much more joy ahead. And we hold onto that.  

I’ll end by sharing the last paragraph of my dad’s obituary: “Jimmer cared about everyone so much that he forgot to take care of himself. If you are struggling or feel lost, please reach out to one of us or someone you love. There is no judgment, no condemnation. You are not alone, you matter, and you are loved.”

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

I have an incredible family and significant other who have — time and time again — given me the space and ability to share my feelings and emotions. I have also read multiple books and listened to many podcasts on mental health and suicide. I also hold tightly to my faith in Jesus and the promises I have that I will be able to hug my dad and hear his laugh again, someday.  

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects of it that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

In the year 2021, 

  • South Dakota experienced its highest suicide death rate ever recorded. (22.6 deaths per 100,000) 
  • Suicide was the leading cause of death among ages 10-29 in SD. (2021) 
  • South Dakota had the 7th highest suicide rate in the US.  

We talk until we are blue in the face about the dangers of drugs, not wearing seatbelts, drinking and driving, etc. … commercials and billboards galore—but we are failing to have open, honest conversations to discuss one of the leading causes of death of people in our state.  

Mental health and suicide both have a stigma attached to them, but they shouldn’t. Mental health IS health, and we need to strive to become comfortable with the uncomfortable… It’s time we step into the arena, share our stories, and start shining light into the darkness. By sharing our stories, we let others know they are not alone.  

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

I know it sounds cliché… but truly, the world is a better place with you in it. You are not alone, you matter and you are so, so loved.

 

Jessie Jo Van Bockel

Posted on September 20, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I grew up in a mixed family, which had many difficulties and struggles throughout my childhood. At age 14, riding the bus home from my first week of school, I was picked up by my stepmother. This was odd because the bus dropped me off a block away from home. I jumped in the vehicle, and she was sobbing because her son, my brother at age 16, had died by suicide when he returned home from school. My brother was living with his birth father and his stepmother at the time. I was taken aback by what had happened. We’d just seen him a few weekends before summer ended, thriving with life. No one suspected that he was struggling in his personal life, especially family matters.

As life went on, I started to notice a pattern of suicides of boys and young men in small communities. Not only did our family suffer mentally, but we also lost a brother. I was lost and angry, and my own mental health suffered.

A few years ago, my cousin, who was like a brother to me growing up, had a suicide attempt. He had reached out to the Suicide Prevention Hotline and National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, but the following day, he completed suicide. My heart sank, wishing I would have reached out to chat sooner or responded to a text message that he left me.

Today, I still have a hole in my soul, and I advocate for men’s mental health. June is Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month and I still see today, men are put on the back burner, to hold their emotions, unable and afraid of healthy masculinity because of the society we live in today. As humans, we need a community of support for those who struggle, and who are unable to express themselves, especially men.

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Resources I have come across are 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Men’s Minds Matter, and National Alliance on Mental Illness.

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Building resilience is a daily choice. We are all going to have bad days; we have to stay consistent in addressing real mental health matters.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Mental health issues do not make you a terrible person, and reaching out asking for help does not make you needy.

 

 

 

Patrick Murphy

Posted on September 19, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I had a pretty ideal childhood growing up. My parents and my brothers are great, but for some reason, I had a lot of anxiety. I fought depression, struggled with my weight, and excelled at overthinking just about everything. This stayed with me all throughout my life. A lot of this came to a crucial point in 2016-17. My wife and I were living in Dickinson, ND. We were ready to try and have kids. Unfortunately, thus far we have been unsuccessful. This hit us very hard. I felt unworthy as a husband. I was scared that my wife would leave me or resent us and our marriage. I should’ve trusted her better, because she is still here and stronger than ever. Anyway, I tried dealing with this, but I wound up burying it under denial, seeking comfort in food. I was depressed but got very good at denying it. In 2018 we moved back home to Rapid City, my hometown. We bought a beautiful home. The depression reared its head again, and the anxiety was worse than ever. You can be blessed beyond your wildest dreams and still feel empty inside. I felt alone, unworthy as a husband with extra bedrooms with no kids of our own. I was anxious all the time. I started to think that if I killed myself my wife could have a chance to start over with someone better. That was the wake-up call. I can tell you how scary it feels to formulate the cleanest method of suicide to not be a burden on your wife.

That’s when I ran to God. I gave my life to Jesus when I was 12 years old. Yet, somehow I found myself here in this place. I wrote a book of poetry that I self-published while battling these thoughts and feelings. It made me see the scripture Jeremiah 29:11 stands true. God desires to prosper us, not to harm us. To give us hope and a future.

I went to church, I confided in my wife, in friends, and men of God that I trust. I went to my doctor here in Rapid City and told her I was anxious all the time. I took anxiety medication to help me change how I approach life, and how I think and treat myself. Since March of 2023, I’ve lost 50 pounds! I have a long way to go, but I’m going. This has been five years of discovery. And reminders that anxiety doesn’t own me, depression doesn’t own me. I am a son of God saved by His Son, Christ Jesus. Starting this fall I am beginning a new journey to go to school to get a degree in counseling. So, if you read this or hear this, don’t give up. You have a purpose and can change someone’s life.

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

My doctor prescribed anxiety medication. I also spoke to my wife. Close friends. I also want to mention pastors Jason and Tim Stuen here in Rapid City.

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Advertising mental health services so people know where opportunities are. I also want men to feel like it’s okay to admit they’re struggling with anxiety or depression.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

It’s a process. If you or someone you care about deal with mental health issues, it’s a daily exercise. Celebrate good days. Listen and encourage.

 

 

Jasmin Fosheim

Posted on September 18, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression for around six years, brought on by a high-stress job and a drive to achieve that manifests in never feeling like I’m enough. I’ve learned to overcome these challenges with various resources and lifestyle changes, and I’ve grown in so many ways as a result.

When I had my first child, Josie, in 2020 in the middle of COVID-19, I found that not only would I continue to battle my anxiety and depression, but I was also thrown into the tornado that is postpartum depression and anxiety. I climbed my way out, however, and went on to continue to grow and thrive.

Two years later, I found myself in the middle of moving from Hettinger, ND to Pierre, SD, switching careers, and managing major health issues with my daughter Josie and myself (including gallbladder removal at 30 weeks pregnant). When I went into preterm labor at 33 weeks the night after moving the remainder of our belongings from Hettinger to Pierre, I began the most challenging mental health battle of my life. Caring from afar for a toddler who couldn’t understand why mommy and daddy disappeared for over a month was heart-wrenching, and her mental health tanked. Spending time in the NICU in the midst of a move and career change for over a month was almost more than I could handle. And the postpartum anxiety and depression that overwhelmed me when I finally arrived home with my family, all of us shaken to our core, nearly broke me.

I persevered, however, and am now thriving with two healthy babies and a happy family in my hometown. The journey to get here, though, was the toughest thing I’ve ever experienced.

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Having a mom support group of friends who were also moms was immensely helpful. In addition, I accessed counseling and medications, and I had an OBGYN who was an AMAZING advocate for mental health care postpartum for both moms and dads.

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

People need to see the people who are seemingly happy and successful sharing their vulnerabilities and the steps they’ve taken to better themselves. Without that exposure, people will continue to believe mental health care isn’t for them. In addition, rural access to mental health care is atrocious, and the fact that health care costs could ever be a deterrent for people pursuing mental health services is a gross injustice in the system of mental health and healthcare in general. We need people brave enough to share their journey (which is why this project is AMAZING, and I’ve thought so since its inaugural year), communities willing to invest innovatively to ensure services are available, and systemic change that ensures affordability of services that are vital to survival for many.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Mental health care is for everyone, and everyone can benefit from therapy. Connect with a counselor now so when the days are dark and getting out of bed is hard you’re not having to seek someone out and overcome the obstacles of the system. Having a relationship established when you’re OK makes reaching out and getting help when you’re not OK SO much easier.

 

 

Mato James Abourezk

Posted on September 18, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I had to deal with recovery from surgeries from age 5 to 15. This wasn’t exactly an ideal way to grow up. Because of this, I developed anxiety and depression at a young age, but it wasn’t until I was 19 going to college at Black Hills State University that I had thoughts of suicide and attempted to end my life. All my feelings ambushed me. I was away from home, I hadn’t gotten over surgeries and what I had been through, I hadn’t accepted myself and who I wanted to be. I was alone.

Then I was told a story by my mom about how I should’ve died when I was born but I didn’t, that I was supposed to be a vegetable my whole life, but I wasn’t. This hit me hard, because I thought to myself, “I didn’t fight that hard my WHOLE life just to give up now.” So I didn’t. I kept moving toward my goals of being in the entertainment industry and having a family. I am now in a place where it looks like I’ll be in the entertainment industry, and I have just recently gotten engaged. This is my story. I am resilient.

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

I would say a support system consisting of my family, friends, and mentors helped me climb out of my hole. I began going to counseling and hanging out with family and friends more often, whether it was through the Boys Health Program at YFS or just a family dinner. I had support and understanding from them. 

 

Based on your experience, how can we work to build resilience in ourselves, our loved ones, and in our communities to better face life’s challenges? 

It may sound cliché, but I think belief in one’s self and recognizing one’s potential as a person goes a long way. The problem is that it’s hard to see that in ourselves because we are so self-conscious, so if we point that out to our loved ones, it can really help a person be confident in what they can do. This leads to pushing a person past what they previously thought they could reach. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

You are NOT alone. You are LOVED. You are HEARD. 

 

Guy Siverson

Posted on September 17, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I was 9 and close to my deaf aunt. Part of her struggle was trying to live in a hearing world. She always told me that she could understand me better than anyone else because I would take time to pronounce my words.  So we bonded. And at age 9, I found out that she had taken her life. That was one of my first real run-ins with abandonment because I was very close to my aunt. I just accepted it at that point, but only recently have I realized that I never really actually accepted it at all. What I did was I transitioned her fight into why I should give up too.  I never really understood that before.  I was finding myself dealing with a lot of issues related to suicide.

I’m 59 now. I was 9 then. Fifty years later, I only recently honestly, truthfully came to terms with what happened when I was a child. I still had to go through the valley. I still had to go through the issues related to suicide. And it’s helped me personally to realize, “Wait a minute. I’ve got the dynamic wrong.” I’ve got to shift the dynamic, that whole dichotomy. That has helped me to change a lot of things in my own.

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

My faith, prayer, and studying the Word of God. 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

By offering more connective loving support for all rather than alienating those who do not fit into your own defined expectations of humanity. 

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

That there is a God who cares and that God has a Son who died for you that you might live for Him. 

 

 

 

Elsie Zajicek

Posted on September 15, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I would say my story started at Brandon Valley High School where I was a knock-out athlete. I was always told in high school I was going places and going to do amazing things. So I tried living up to everyone’s fairytale. I practiced hard, I worked out after games we lost, and I even made myself throw up to get faster. Then I headed to college to start my collegiate volleyball journey, and I found myself with a full-blown eating disorder. My roommates called my mom and told her what was going on. I was ashamed and so lost. The next thing I knew, my roommate was bringing me to see a nutritionist—she had to bring me because otherwise I would literally always bail. I hated every step of this getting better journey. Next was a doctor’s appointment back home with my mom and primary care. This was an eye-opening appointment as I was diagnosed for the first time with an eating disorder and depression. I’m now graduated and in full recovery. I could not be more proud of myself nor could I imagine doing it alone.

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Eating disorders in athletes are very common and not talked about. I would have to dig to even find a global resource. What I found helpful is Victory Garrick’s TED Talk and her resources. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sdk7pLpbIls

Locally, I’ve created a blog that sheds light on the journey in hope to make you feel less alone and hopefully laugh at yourself a little! https://elsiezajicek1.wixsite.com/justedthings

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Personally, I struggled with social media. I have now been able to tailor it so that I see very healthy posts when I log on. I think this is deeply rooted for many of us, when children are so often in front of screens. Getting away from the screen and connecting to the soil really played a big role in my recovery.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

It truly is one day at a time.

 

 

 

Chesney Garnos 

Posted on September 14, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

My life changed one fall evening in 2014. I was about to catch a volleyball game with some friends from high school in my small hometown. One group member was not answering his phone, so I decided to swing by his house to see what was taking so long. When I walked through the door, I found him attempting to take his life.

At 18 years old, I had never been educated on how to handle the situation—suicide was not often discussed, especially in rural South Dakota. I decided to intervene and help my friend in the best way I knew at the time. Luckily, this friend of mine is still alive today. I often reflect on that moment and think about how fortunate I was that this situation did not end up differently, as I later found out there were better ways to handle that situation.

Shortly after my friend’s suicide attempt, I lost two former cross-country teammates to suicide. I mourned and searched for answers. How, as individuals and as a community, could we be better? During this time, I also started therapy for myself. I also sought out solutions during this time. Not just for myself but for rural communities like the one I grew up in. Why weren’t the topics of mental health and suicide being discussed? This led to a research project with my professor at the University of South Dakota, which later became an organization called Break the Chains 17.  The organization’s goal was to go to rural communities and schools in South Dakota to provide education on bullying, share the warning sides of suicide, explain what to do in times of crisis, and provide resources for the students. The organization has recently rebranded and is now known as “The Unseen Struggle.” This transformation focuses on the mission of sharing stories related to mental health and increasing awareness about invisible illnesses/diseases. “The Unseen Struggle” will place a strong emphasis on education and the dissemination of inspirational narratives, all to break down the stigmas and provide hope around these significant subjects.

While I wouldn’t want anyone to go through the experiences mentioned earlier, it’s important to understand that these situations are not isolated incidents; they can potentially affect anyone. This is why having conversations and spreading awareness about these subjects is of utmost importance. By doing so, we contribute to the overall health and wellness of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities as a whole.

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

I grew up in a small rural community in South Dakota, where resources for dealing with mental health were limited at the time. When I began experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety, I felt ashamed and alone. Luckily, improved telehealth options are available for those in rural communities (so check into that)!

Once I started college, things changed. I began attending therapy sessions at the University of South Dakota’s counseling center, which I learned about through my sorority sisters. If you are in school, look into these resources! Upon being diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder and Seasonal Affective Disorder, I was fortunate to have supportive friends and family around me. Finding a group that will support you and your mental well-being is important.

It’s been nine years now! I’ve continued with therapy, and it’s been a game-changer. When things feel unmanageable for me, I try prioritizing baths, eight hours of sleep, cycling classes, making time blocks in my schedule, and ensuring I attend my therapy sessions! I’ve also used medication to manage my anxiety, and having a supportive primary care physician who prioritizes mental health has been crucial. Whether it is therapy or medication, know there are solutions out there for you to make things more manageable. It takes time, but it’s worth it!

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Prevention, conversation, and education! We can build better prevention systems in our communities to help create a more resilient community that better addresses the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities. Starting the implementation of prevention, conversation, and education at earlier ages in our homes and in our schools is a great first step.

 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Mental health challenges, suicidal thoughts/ideation, and suicide are not “selfish.” As individuals and as a community, we can all be better at understanding and supporting those who face any of these conditions.

 

 

Beverly Froslie Johnson

Posted on September 13, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

My son has autism and many other mental health diagnoses. He’s been in and out of multiple mental health facilities. Including spending 18 months in a PRTF (psychiatric residential treatment facility) in Salt Lake City. Our story was told in the Argus Leader in 2019: https://www.argusleader.com/story/news/2019/02/07/south-dakota-mental-health-jail-system/2701616002/

I was also able to get a law changed so children wouldn’t have to go through what my son did to get the help he needed. So far that law has been instrumental in getting the children the help they needed and successfully integrating students back to their home school.

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

DHS, Dept of Labor, ACLU, SFSD with Kristy Feden

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

The whole mental health system needs to be revamped. Departments need to work together and communicate. More training needs to be done with our police department and educational systems. SD needs facilities with experienced and well-trained staff for people/kids in crisis. Also, laws need to be changed and new ones passed.

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Show empathy and compassion. Never give up. In life, you will have pain whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental. Never give up. It will get better, and once you get through it, it’s the best feeling in the world that you overcame whatever you went through.

 

Krista Burns

Posted on September 12, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since I was in elementary school. I didn’t know that’s what I was dealing with until I went to a therapist in my late 20s. I attempted suicide when I was 18 and used to cut my hands. I contemplated suicide again in 2021. My friend told me I needed to go to Avera Behavioral Health right away. I ended up spending a week at the facility.

Since then I have had a therapist and psychologist who help me with my mental health. I also open up to my family, friends, and co-workers more when my depression or anxiety is starting to get bad.

I feel like my story can resonate with people who are dealing with mental health problems, but don’t feel like they can open up to anyone about it. I can also show that you can live with these disorders and manage them to lead a healthier and happier life.

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Avera Behavioral Health, therapists, psychologists, medications

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

There needs to be more education in schools and the community to tell people that it’s OK to not be OK, and also to teach family and friends how to speak with someone who has a mental illness. There also needs to be more affordable and easily accessible ways to talk with a therapist or psychologist.

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Don’t tell people that everything will be alright or that other people have it worse. Listen to the person who is struggling and offer them support and comfort.

 

Claire Litzen

Posted on September 11, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

Throughout high school, I struggled deeply with anxiety, an eating disorder, depression, and suicidal thoughts. It wasn’t until therapy that I was able to come to grips with my reality and seek out help.

I later experienced a ton of grief and loss due to family members passing away and my engagement ending.

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Therapy

Local groups: Theyself by Wake, The We Can Movement

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Connecting with a community! I think that once you get in environments where you are able to share your struggles, you don’t feel as alone.

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Healing and growth are not linear.

 

Whitney Lucas Molitor

Posted on September 10, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

Growing up in Mission, SD, I saw firsthand how mental health and suicide can impact individuals, families, and entire communities. Although I saw people in my community impacted by suicide, it wasn’t until high school that I first began to realize just how dramatically the incidence of suicide in this area of the state was disproportionate to other communities. Today, Todd County remains in the top five counties in South Dakota with the highest rates of suicide, with teens and young adults most affected.

Although there have been times in my own life that I have struggled with balancing my mental health while also engaging in life and working to become the person I wanted to be, I have always been fortunate to have an immense support system of a family that has helped and supported me. I recognize that not everyone who finds themselves in a challenging time in their life can access the resources and services they may most benefit from.

This was one of the reasons that later in my life I began to explore how health disparities and the social determinants of health can influence mental and physical health. What I have learned over the years is that sizable disparities exist in South Dakota. They are based on factors such as where a person lives, their age, and their ethnicity. Native communities are dramatically more affected by suicide than other ethnic groups, despite programs and policies targeting these communities and individuals.

As an occupational therapist, I have seen other ways that mental health challenges affect individuals in South Dakota. Not only is mental health sometimes overlooked, but the most appropriate mental health care can be difficult to access. Despite a growing emphasis nationwide to address mental health, a stigma remains around asking for or receiving the help that may be most needed. Because of this, I remain passionate about advocating for access to mental health services and continuously working to better understand how to best promote mental health.

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Developing a support network of family and friends has been the most beneficial for me. Especially during times when I thought I was fine, having a trusted person who knows me well and not giving up on supporting me has made a big impact.

 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Continuing to work to de-stigmatize asking for and accepting help for mental health concerns is needed in our society. Working to make it the norm to get the help and resources that are needed to address mental health in an easily accessible way is critical. This process needs to start early in life when children develop lifelong habits that can contribute to their mental and physical health throughout their entire life.

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Managing mental health is a lifelong journey that everyone faces in some way. While we never truly reach a point where we no longer need to pay attention to our mental health, over time we can develop skills that will make this journey seem easier. Being a resource and support when someone is facing a challenging time in their life and doing so with grace and compassion is important.

 

Robert L Burandt

Posted on September 9, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

Having a lifelong disease takes perseverance, persistence, and an understanding that it’s OK to be not OK. It’s easier in our society to understand physical health more than mental health. Having learned I have bipolar in 2008, I worked very hard with therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and myself to understand how to manage and live with this lifelong disease. I finally got to the point of remission, a thing I didn’t even know was possible with this disease.

I have been a resource and advocate for others by creating a sports association in Sioux Falls. A similar outlet was available in my hometown of Minneapolis and was an invaluable resource. I even became a mental health first aid responder in 2022. With all of that knowledge, experience, and time, I still faltered.

In May of 2023, I saw myself dying by suicide in two vivid scenarios. I did not want this to become a reality, but I forgot everything I knew. I was so busy helping everybody else that I forgot to help myself first. It finally became too much, and I had to ask for help. This time was different, though—I knew that it was OK to not be OK. I had talked about my struggle openly for years, and when I finally succumbed to needing help, I was surrounded by it. I did not feel ashamed this time. I felt as though I was actually doing the right thing. This was my “drink your juice, Shelby” moment, and I was parched.

While at work, I reached out to my manager and a co-worker who led me to the right place. I completed an outpatient intensive therapy program at Avera Behavioral Health and am seeing a therapist at Sanford Health regularly. I still openly talk about my experience(s) to others and am once again able to be a resource for those who need it.

My tunnel has found light again, and I am ready for what’s next.

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Avera Behavioral Health (outpatient intensive care program), Sanford therapy, Lost&Found, Sioux Empire Pride Sports Association, 988, co-workers, family & friends.

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

I believe that we have come a long way from where we were, but we still have a long way to go. I will do what I can, for as long as I can to speak to the importance of the whole health of individuals. Being silent is the worst thing I can do for others. I will continue to advocate for better coverage, access, and awareness of resources available.

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

No matter how dark the road, light will always shine, even if just a flicker. Stay here. You are worth it.

 

Michelle (Williams) Seten 

Posted on September 8, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

My biological parents went through a difficult divorce when I was very young. Immediately after that, I endured neglect and severe physical abuse within the household. Going into my adolescence and teen years, I was also a victim of multiple sexual assaults and rapes. My first sexual assault was when I was 14, and soon after was my first rape. I struggled with depression and low self-worth at a very young age, which trickled into young adulthood. My relationship choices reflected how I put up with my partners’ treatment and how I felt about myself. I had multiple sexual assaults in my twenties as well. Depression has never left me, even as a social worker/therapist myself—it doesn’t discriminate.

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Honestly, I was too proud to reach out for help until this year (2023) because I thought I could just deal with it on my own. I knew I had never properly dealt with my trauma or how it continued to affect me in my adult life, and I finally decided it was time for proper self-care. I found a great therapist and began the difficult journey of processing through everything and facing my demons.

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Therapy is expensive. Waitlists to get into psychiatrists for proper medication management are way too long. Treatment for substance abuse is also expensive and isn’t near long enough to actually treat the cycle of addiction. Law Enforcement needs more extensive training on mental health crises, also the way suicidal and mental health patients are treated in our jail system needs to be addressed.

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

It’s not something I wish on anyone. It’s a very excruciating silent struggle that people go through, and it’s just so hard to really explain to someone who has never had a thought of literally wanting to not be on earth anymore. I can be a fully functioning adult and put on a smile all day but internally, I’m screaming and aching in pain because I’m just so exhausted about “being.”

 

Amanda Kriens

Posted on September 7, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

My very first memory is somewhere around 3-4 years old at a funeral of a family member. I remember sitting on the lap of a woman who was weeping, and I had no idea why. Years later I found out that that funeral was her brother who had died by suicide. In my teen years, another family member died by suicide. She had mailed me a birthday card every single year until she was gone. In 2018 my cousin whom I was very close with and was very close to my kids, died by suicide. I had dropped my children at school and was driving to my grandmother’s house when I came to a roadblock due to an accident. A short hour later I found out that it was my cousin, Landry. I remember hearing the sound of my grandmother’s heart breaking while I held her in my arms and her son told her her grandson was gone. I had to sit my three children down and tell them. I had talked to two school counselors and a child therapist along with our pastor to make sure I was doing it right. What’s the right way to tell a 7, 9, and 11-year-old something like that? The very first time my 7-year-old had an anxiety attack was the day of the funeral. Our entire family went to therapy, and it took months for the sweet little girl to realize she could still be safe away from home and mama. All of this was affecting my own mental health, but my priority was my children, and I ignored the signs.  

In March of 2022 I started having severe anxiety and moderate depression. I had experienced a brief time of this after Landry’s passing and had some minor postpartum depression after my third child, but this was completely different than anything I had felt before. I would be driving home from work and have an overwhelming urge to drive off the road. I would think about just escaping the pain, and then I would think of my husband and our kids and would feel so incredibly selfish. I was in so much emotional pain, but I didn’t tell anyone. I was too embarrassed. I was surrounded by so many loving friends and family, but I was too ashamed to tell anyone. This happened to other people but not me. I had even done safety counseling with a family member the year before, not even knowing what I was doing had a name. But me? I didn’t have these kinds of problems, I told myself. But I did.  

I eventually made an appointment with my primary care practitioner. I filled out the PHQ-9 and GAD 7, forms that screen for depression and anxiety, and I was sky-high on both. I sat in the office and cried, and the nurse just slid the Kleenex box over to me and said the doctor would be in shortly. I waited 54 minutes for the doctor. I had told my sister I was going in, and I texted her from the doctor’s office asking her if she thought they were lining someone up to come haul me away. My primary care provider referred me to a specialist and started me on medication. I wasn’t overly impressed. I started seeing the therapist I had seen after Landry had passed and realized most of this was coming on due to the extreme amount of stress I had in my life at that time. With my therapist’s help, I made some major life changes. One of them was that left a fifteen-year career in banking to pursue a career in behavioral health. I had so much compassion for those struggling, and I couldn’t stop reading and learning about the brain, mental health, coping skills, mindfulness, anything I could get my hands or eyes on pertaining to the subject. Knowledge is power. I needed some power. I found my strength. I prayed a lot and met with a career counselor. I have been working in behavioral health now for 15 months. In my healing journey I have relied heavily on my relationship with God, practiced self-care and mindfulness, and got back to journaling. I eliminated as much stress as I could, but life is life. My brother Tulley who truly was my mind-reading, attentive, kind, best buddy for 35 years, had been struggling with alcohol addiction. We finally got him to go to treatment this fall, and after discharge, he relapsed. Three weeks ago he died due to complications from alcoholic hepatitis after spending 52 days in the hospital. I am afraid of what this could do. I have been doing so well the last year. I am not currently on medication, but I am practicing all of the skills I have learned and I teach. Helping others in their healing journey has helped me. I know grief will need to be processed and felt, and I have had and will have moments of deep deep sadness, but I do believe I can get through this. I know there is help if I struggle. 

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

  • Reverence Counseling-Jodi Merritt (for myself) 
  • Stronghold Counseling (in the past for my children) 
  • Sanford Psych (medication management) 
  • Avera Addiction Family Program (Support for me and my parents with brother’s addiction) 
  • QPR (learned how to help other’s (and myself) in crisis and am now an instructor) 
  • Mental Health First Aid Adult and Youth (Use this knowledge both professionally and personally) 
  • Avera Behavioral Outpatient-Brookings (most amazing co-workers ever and provide exceptional service in the Brookings area) 

 

For others: 

  • 988 (Have referred many to this for after hours help or in crisis and don’t want to or can’t go in) 
  • Avera Behavioral Urgent Care (Refer those who are in crisis and have strong suicidal urges) 
  • Avera Adolescent Addiction (teens struggling with addiction) 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects of it that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

I think breaking the stigma of struggling with mental health and/or addiction would do wonders for allowing people to reach out to their loved ones without feeling shame (whether actual shame or self-imposed shame). 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

You can feel better! You don’t have to stay stuck. You are going to have to take action and use your tools, and there are many, but YOU CAN DO IT!!  

 

Shannon Nielsen

Posted on September 6, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I am the oldest child of 3. Growing up, we had an amazing childhood filled with memories. On June 27, 1995, our world was turned upside down when my dad died of a heart attack. Our rock and protector was now gone. It was devastating. My mom was amazing and did all she could do to be both parents for us.  

I was 12 when my dad died, and soon after I started taking on more responsibility around the house and with my siblings. This was all self-induced. I started striving more to be perfect and not cause my mom any more heartache. I didn’t want her worrying about me. The striving to be “perfect” got worse as I entered high school. I had to have perfect grades, and I started working out more to be better in the sports I played.  

In my sophomore year of high school, I started to be more critical of my body. I started to see myself as “FAT,” and this was not acceptable. My eating habits changed along with my workout routine. I became very regimented, and the effort to be skinny controlled my life. By the beginning of my junior year, my mom and friends were concerned. I didn’t care. My mom put me in therapy in our hometown. I didn’t take it seriously as I didn’t think I had a problem. I would do whatever it took to lose weight and not gain.  My health began to worsen as I lost more and more weight.  

It was decided that I be sent to the Eating Disorder Institute in Minneapolis. I spent 3 months in an inpatient Eating Disorder Unit and then transitioned to partial treatment and eventually outpatient therapy.  When I first was in treatment, I was in denial and was not participating. After a few weeks and being threatened with a feeding tube, I started to recognize that I was sick. Not only was I hurting myself both physically and mentally, but it was also hurting my mom and siblings. It was not an overnight change, but very gradual. It had a lot of ups and downs. I went forward and backward. I had an amazing support system behind me, including my family, friends, and therapy teams.  I was able to return to my senior year of high school.  

I’m now almost 40, and I am a mom to two amazing kids. The journey here has not been easy. I have relapsed a few times.  I know I will always struggle, but I have learned to better cope with those eating disorder thoughts. I want to be a good example to my kids, and I want to advocate for my services for eating disorder patients in our state.  

 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Finding a good treatment team is key. Find a counselor or therapist that you feel comfortable with. There are great support groups.  

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects of it that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

One thing that I never had to deal with when I was in high school was social media. I can’t imagine what that would have done to me when I was at my lowest. Kids today are given so many different messages when it comes to the internet and social media. It’s always there.  I think we should be more aware of the damages of social media and educate others on it. I feel that there are more safeguards being placed, but there needs to be more.  

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

It can affect anyone at any time! If you are struggling….you are not alone!  

 

Nikki Eining

Posted on September 5, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

On the first day of my sophomore year of high school, my best friend was killed in a head-on car collision. Two months later, my father had a brain aneurysm and was hospitalized for 31 days. That same year, in December, we lost my aunt to breast cancer. At 15, I was surrounded by death, loss, and grief, with no ability to process or understand why all of these things that were out of my control had occurred. With a history of experiencing maltreatment, this loss was devastating and all–consuming. I remember not wanting to go to school, not wanting to go to my job, and beginning to give up. I had quit things I enjoyed—extra–curricular activities, athletics, and more.  

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Safe and supportive relationships. My friends, friends’ parents, neighbors, and aunts and uncles supported me when my parents were at the hospital for those 31 days. My student resource officer—who went above and beyond his job description— was the one to tell me about my best friend’s accident and supported our class during such a difficult time. Teachers rallied for us to take care of one another. One day in the spring, following the fall when all of these losses occurred, I was at home having thoughts of what is the point anymore, and my SRO showed up and talked to me about not giving up on myself and even helped get me to school that day. I remember being in geography class and my friend telling our teacher, who was my golf coach, to let me rejoin the team because I needed it. So many people showed up at a time they did not have to, or when it was not part of their job description. It saved my life. 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

We have to prioritize relationships over “following the rules” and complacency. We have to prioritize relationships over economic brackets and cliques. The potential in each of us is worth protecting. It takes safe, supportive, and appropriately challenging adults and peers to help us reach our potential when there are factors hindering it. 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Our choice in how we show up in our relationships and our interactions with others matters. Greatly. 

 

Jennifer Williams-Curl

Posted on September 4, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

In March 2015, my life changed forever. I was walking by a boxing gym when my gut told me I needed to change something. It felt surreal. A few hours later, my parents called and asked me to bring something to their house. I thought it was weird, and I tried to call my brother to see if he knew what was up. He lived in Nebraska, and he wasn’t answering. I messaged his best friend to see if he’d seen him lately. I was told TJ went to see our grandparents. About halfway to my parents’ house, I realized that my brother died. That’s why I had to drive to see my parents before they would tell me what was going on. I arrived in Nisland, and my worst fears were confirmed. I sat on a step, sobbing. Not knowing what to do. Nobody was there to support us—we found out my brother died of suicide, but I had no additional support.   

Fast forward to fall 2022. My brother would have turned 30 that September. I was struggling with my mental health due to postpartum hormones and grief. I checked in with my support system at work, got myself into my counselor, and worked through the process. Then, we lost a student that I worked with closely to suicide. That was hard. Lost&Found, the Front Porch Coalition, and so many others were there for our campus. A few weeks later, we had another loss. I didn’t know this student, but the loss still hurt. These events inspired me to change my dissertation topic. How can I help students feel supported? I’m going to find the answer and do that. My brother’s last words to me were in a letter, and he told me to do great things. I’ve decided those great things include helping others feel supported so nobody ever needs to feel as alone as I did when I learned of my brother’s death.  

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

I started with a counselor through an EAP (employee assistance program), then I worked with this person regularly outside of that assistance. Lost&Found provides a lot of training and resources about how to help build healthy coping skills, so I’ve slowly been implementing new strategies into my life.  

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects of it that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

I think the biggest thing we can do is recognize that mental health is health. Someone suffering from anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADHD, etc. should be given the same grace as someone with the stomach flu. Just because others don’t see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t real. That mentality is the hardest thing to overcome, even within my own family sometimes. 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

It’s okay to not be okay, but remember to ask for help when you need it.  

 

Jerrald H Zeigler Jr

Posted on September 3, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I am a three-time suicide attempt survivor. Due to a military sexual assault and two molestations shortly after, I got PTSD and felt I couldn’t live with myself. My first attempt cost me my military career. My second attempt cost me my first marriage. My third attempt cost me my family for a long time. After that, I worked on my trauma through therapy and support groups. I am now co-founder and president of Empire Mental Health Support here in Sioux Falls. I owe it to the VA for understanding PTSD and military sexual trauma. Today I want to live. I have grandchildren I want to see grow up, graduate, get married, and have children of their own. Suicide is the furthest idea from my mind. I am worthy, therefore I must live! 

Ps

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

SMART Recovery, NAMI, and Empire Mental Health Support. 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects of it that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Using mental illness against criminals during mass shootings instead of criminal behavior. The truth is people with mental illness are more likely to harm themselves rather than harm others. 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

That people can never just “get over it”! 

 

 

Meagan Zerr

Posted on September 2, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

As far back as I can remember, I didn’t feel safe. I felt anxious, depressed, and like I was walking on eggshells. When you combine this with the intense pressure to perform academically, socially, and physically, I was a ticking time bomb. No one was talking about mental health in the early 2000s, so I thought the way I felt was normal. How can I be checking all these “good” boxes and still feel this way? My suicidal ideations became more frequent in my early 20s, when I turned to anything to feel a glimpse of happiness as a coping mechanism. By 25 those ideations turned to action. After years of counseling, medication, and addiction services, I am now free from those chains! 

Ps

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

At 22, I started seeing a psychologist and began my 5–year journey of trial and error for medications. I started seeing a therapist at 25, and that changed my life in a huge way. I still see her! At 29 I gave up alcohol officially, and have been sober for two years. I am now off my medications and have never felt better! 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects of it that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

STOP THE COMPARISONS. Social media can be a beautiful way to connect, but can also be so nasty. You are the average of the content you consume, and who you surround yourself with. Start consuming POSITIVE content, with POSITIVE people, and watch your life flourish. I also know people use social media as a coping mechanism; to get attention, validation from others, to avoid arguing with their spouse, to escape from their screaming kids. If you face your feelings head on, and sit with them, you will unlock a new level of you! But it’s effing hard.  

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

My past doesn’t define who I am now. 

 

 

Sam Houser

Posted on September 1, 2023 by - Uncategorized

What is the story related to mental health, suicide, and/or resilience that you’d like to share?

I was assaulted by a superior in the workforce, leading to suicidal ideation that resulted in forming suicide plans and a brief moment when I considered acting on those plans. Because of the hope and resiliency offered by colleagues, family, and my therapist, I utilized my safety plan. For those who have not heard of a safety plan, it is a plan formulated for folks for whom suicidal ideation is a reoccurring happening. A safety plan allows the person suffering from ideation to reach out to a safe individual who will talk them through things or intervene in supportive, lifesaving ways.  

For me, this was a conversation with my spouse about my ideation that ended with the understanding that I was not in a place to take action regarding the assault. Eventually, I was encouraged by the people offering me support to take action as a way to facilitate healing from the incident. That action, in this instance, was informing the denominational leaders (this was a church leader) of the incident, writing a full report of what had happened (this was a painful but important step in my healing), and then naming my expectations in regard to what systemic accountability might look like. At the start of this reporting, I thought that some form of education for the perpetrator and an apology would help me feel some form of resolution. After a year of journaling, therapy, and other healing practices, I’ve come to believe that only I can create the internal resolution that will help me continue taking steps forward. 

What resources have helped you to address this challenge?

Some of the things that I have used to begin healing from the assault are talk therapy, safety planning, somatic healing, and grounding. I’m what’s considered an internal processor, meaning I typically think all my thoughts and let them run through my mind until I feel comfortable sharing them…but after the trauma of assault that was not a helpful mode, and so I began talk therapy, allowing space for my thoughts to happen and then leave. I also began using two intentional somatic healing practices, massage therapy and touch therapy. It is true that our bodies, as well as our minds, hold on to the experiences we have in life, and I was triggered regularly after my assault because my spouse looks very similar to the perpetrator, so my body was in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze, or faint leading me to seek out a massage therapist regularly to work the muscles as well as asking my husband to engage in touch therapy, which is a form of non-sexual touching that allows my brain and body to gain understanding that I’m not in danger when this human is near.

On my own, I also utilized the practice of grounding as a way to help with the healing process. My spiritual director is trained in forest therapy and offered instruction as well as education on the benefits that come with grounding oneself in nature. I made it a daily practice, before my journaling, to pour myself a cup of coffee and step out onto my backyard barefoot so that I could be physically reminded that the world is vast, and while my experience of assault matters, there is more to life and more to me than that experience. 

 

Think about the system that affects our mental health in our society, including aspects of it that are damaging to mental health and aspects of the system that improve mental health. Based on your experience, how might we improve that system to build resilience and better address the mental health needs of ourselves, our loved ones, and our communities?

Following this assault, I benefitted by having the full support of my boss and colleague, and it was with their encouragement that I gained the courage to report the assault. The system that negatively affected my mental health the most was the ways in which the denomination lays out a policy of reporting. There was a lack of trauma-informed individuals to host the eventual interviews (I spoke twice with a committee that was tasked with investigating the report of assault). These individuals questioned my character to the point that they asked one of my character references if I had ever talked about or cheated on my spouse before. They consistently blamed me throughout the interview, asking what I was wearing, if I had been drinking, and ways that I could have spoken differently to make the perpetrator not want to assault me. The interviewers were seeking out the intention behind the assault rather than understanding that the actions themselves were harmful, regardless of the intent.  

Reflecting back on the situation, I can also see that I needed support to report the incident because I have been assaulted and harassed in previous stages of my life and have not been believed. Even now, there is a sort of helplessness in me, due to the fact that nothing was done in regard to the report of assault after the investigation. It is a challenge to endure assault in the workplace, made even more difficult by companies and organizations that don’t have clearly laid out plans of action. And to take that thought and expand it to the impact on mental health, organizations and workplaces that can’t offer mental health days, refuse to offer them, or that create a culture that stigmatizes what they may offer can be deadly to the people who are in need of time away from the place where they experienced trauma. 

What is one thing related to mental health, suicide, or resilience that you wish everyone could understand?

Even when, especially when, you can’t see someone struggling…they are.